Driving, thinking

yana5
Originally uploaded by mtlefort.

Adopting a total stranger with an uncertain past tests you.

It's a leap of faith.

It's a gut reaction.

And it's for a lifetime.

Which makes it more stressful than wondering whether you bought a lemon from the car dealership or selected the best college to attend.

And so you have to weigh: Is there too much of a risk of future developmental problems with a child whose mother drank during her pregnancy and a doctor who advises that this child has slightly above average risk for those FAS-related issues, or do you base your decision primarily on recent measurements, observations, and your instinct -- and then pray for the best and love them regardless? And if you adopt two children who both have early childhood medical needs, are you unfairly splitting your time between them -- and instead should adopt only one? It's not a question of whether Yana will be adopted -- little girls do get adopted quickly in Russia -- but will it be us?

We were looking for a sign, and there wasn't an obvious one. You could read a lot of different things into our experiences of the past week, depending on the outcome you were looking for.

If nothing else, this cross country trip has given us plenty of time to think.