Trick-Or-Treat

Tonight was the children's first experience trick-or-treating. Though we had them on Halloween last year, we were in Moscow with thoughts far from the American celebrations.

The children were so darn cute! And they loved walking through the neighborhoods, pushing doorbell buttons and saying "Trick-Or-Treat!" I usually had to remind them what to say when the door opened, and I definitely had to remind them to say "Thank you!" The whole experience was so new and exciting that, understandably, there was a bit of confusion. At the first house, Anna proceeded to walk inside after accepting her candy. Also, after she would turn her back to leave a house, Anna kept saying, "More, more" (she says it with a Southern drawl, though, with two syllables and everything, almost sounds like "mower"). I think she meant she wanted to go up to more houses, but we had to tell her not to say that because we didn't want the person whose home we were still in front of to think Anna was being greedy and wanting more of their candy!

We saw a few cute dog pets, one dog named Zee even gave Alexander a kiss on the lips! When we were finished trick-or-treating at a different house, Alexander was so cute in saying, "Bye doggie, bye man!"

It was freezing (at 40 degrees, it was almost freezing, anyway), but the children didn't complain. Not when they were getting their pails filled with the good stuff. Still, after about an hour, we figured that was enough. They came home with tons of candy and each got to eat a mini bag of M&Ms and a Dum-Dum sucker before going to bed. Since when did Dum-Dums have
Tootsie Roll-like insides?

I bought candy to hand out, but ended up not using any of it! Mikel and I both wanted to go out with the children their first time.

Pumpkin Carving

The children and I carved pumpkins yesterday. Anna seemed to enjoy it and was a great help. She really got into scooping out the slippery insides! Alexander's attention span expired quickly and he moved on to scooping rocks. I gave the children pencils and let them draw faces on the pumpkins, then I helped refine before we cut.

One Year As A Family

One year ago today (Oct. 26) we picked up our children from their orphanages and became a family. Here is a photo taken in the car just moments after the four of us became a family and one taken this evening when Mikel got home from work. We plan to take a family photo every year on this date.

I deliberately dressed Anna and Alexander this afternoon in the same clothes we put them in to leave their orphanages. They pretty much fit now, if not being on the smaller side (last year these clothes swallowed up the children, especially Alexander). As it turns out, Mikel wore the same shirt today that he wore exactly one year ago. That wasn't planned. Considering that Mikel got sick on the trip and we pretty much survived on granola bars and Balance bars instead of eating out a lot (I know we both lost weight on the trip), his clothes probably fit better now, too.

It's difficult to believe it's been one year! All the details remain fresh in my mind. The children have grown so much physically (Alexander over five inches and Anna over four inches just in the past 10 months alone). Their speech and English language skills are impressive, and you'd never know they hadn't spent their entire lives here. I've talked recently about Anna's progress because of her school reports, but even Alexander often says 5-word sentences. They're usually when he wants something: "I want more (juice or animal cookies or whatever), please."

We did a few things to celebrate this evening. First I made blini, traditional Russian pancakes which Mikel and I enjoyed a few times when we did go out to eat. I think there are two kinds of Russian pancakes, some puffing up more than others. The recipe I used were actually more like crepes but thicker and you can serve them with cheese, meats, fruits, just about whatever. Tonight I served them with chopped nuts and honey, since that's how I had mine last year, and also a sauted apple and brown sugar filling recipe that I followed from my Russian cookbook. Next year I will plan a more elaborate Russian meal. The recipes in this book, for the most part, are a bit complicated and time consuming, and with two children to chase after now, I have found it difficult to cook nice meals like I enjoy doing.

After dinner we had a little tea party, which is also something we'll do every year. I took the children to a bakery to purchase a small, but fancy enough, cake after they awoke from their nap this afternoon. (I can never return to this bakery, by the way, after a gigantic misadventure there, but I'll save this story for another day. I'm still shaken.) Last year we went to great lengths to purchase very fancy cakes for each of the children's orphanages. At Anna's orphanage, we actually sat in the senior director's office and enjoyed the cake and either hot tea or some of that instant coffee which pulled so many strings for us (see archives). We didn't eat cake at Alexander's baby home because we were kind of rushed, but we purchased it nevertheless.

After the tea party, we went downstairs and watched our adoption movie that Mikel put together. I was surprised at how enthralled the children seemed to be with the movie, since I think they had just recently watched at least parts of it on the computer. Maybe it was seeing themselves up on the big screen. I mean, that's how Elmo and Mister Rogers come into their lives, after all, so they're probably trying to figure out how they're also on the TV.

We are just in awe that we've been so blessed with Anna and Alexander. They really are perfect, and we definitely could not have produced more beautiful (inside and out) children on our own. I prayed that our children would be happy. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to be driving down the road and hear Anna say out of the blue, "Mommy, Anna so happy." Then, of course, Alexander has to say, "I so happy, too." They have bonded with us seemingly effortlessly. Other than normal issues that all parents face, I really don't think we've had any problems. We still have the rest of our lives to be parents, and I'm not so naive to think that adoption couldn't become an issue at some point. I can only continue to pray that the children are OK with this knowledge and that we know how to respond to their questions or concerns.

Halloween Party

This morning we went to a Halloween party hosted by one of our friends whose son attends school with Anna. What a great party! Not only did the children dress up and dance and play and eat lunch but they got to make Halloween craft bags, which they later used as trick-or-treat bags as they paraded past the moms who dropped in some scary favors. They also played special games and got to make a "dirt" cup (chocolate pudding with sprinkles, marshmallows, etc.) to bring home to eat later.

Anna was a garden fairy. Alexander was Tigger the Tiger. You'll see these characters again next week for Halloween.

Parent-Teacher Conference

Here are Anna and Alexander at play. These are the stairs leading from our kitchen area to the family room and they love to play on the bottom of the stairs when we're on the lower level. They, most often Alexander, loves to sit sideways on one of the steps facing the wall and play "Choo Choo" (train). I'm still not sure how he's playing Choo Choo in this way. Whenever one sits in front of or behind each other they like to say they're playing "Choo Choo," as they line up like train cars. Obviously, they like to pretend like they're resting on the stairs, also. (And, no, the Bart Simpson, Marge and Mr. Burns toys — along with the Eric Cartman doll you might notice on the floor — are not the children's! They belong to the big child in the family, Mikel, and usually are in the office. ... I guess we'll soon need to hide these before the children realize that they're not exactly kid-oriented.)

Today we had our parent-teacher conference at Anna's school. One set of parents watched our kids outside on the playground while Mikel and I were inside. Then we swapped and watched their kids when they went inside.

No big surprises, as the school is pretty good about keeping you informed. There have been no other behavior problems with Anna other than that one day a couple weeks ago. She has not only been a good girl at school but I understand her attention span is improving. The Montessori program is all about freedom within boundaries. Anna's boundaries are just a bit more narrow right now, as she earned herself a special place to sit and do her work. Normally the children can move around the room from station to station. Teachers say this has helped her focus tremendously in the two weeks that she's been at it in this manner. They attribute her needs with her overall work habits to her very young age. She turned 3 just days before school started. You have to be 3 to attend, so that means she's one of the youngest in the school. Despite her young age, the teachers said she's academically advanced and what she knows far exceeds others her age. The teacher even asked us what methods we've used because she'd like to try them! That was nice, but we haven't done anything special. Just talking a lot throughout the day and reading (though I don't consider the amount we read to be very much). I really think it's more about Anna herself and her zest for learning.

Of course, there are some things we can help her with academically, such as meaningful counting (counting the number of pens on the desk, for example) and focusing on sequencing (such as: here's a pumpkin, and you cut it to make a jack-o-lantern; emphasizing that there is a beginning, middle and end, whether it's with a story or some other project).

They said that sometimes it's difficult to understand her because she's thinking so fast and can't get all the words out as fast as her brain want to, so they encourage her to slow down a bit. To help with socialization and playing with others (as opposed to parallel play where you play beside others) we could put her in situations in which she and friends are working together toward the same goal, such as in baking and decorating cookies so they can later gobble them up.

They also said she drinks A LOT, which I've noticed also. They said she's even consumed some water in containers that is meant for playing and learning how to pour, which I'm sure is full of germs! Mikel suggested that maybe it's because she's so used to the constant liquid (milk, juice, water) supply that I make available to them. Maybe I should try to limit all their drinks at home to see if this makes a difference.

Miss Piggy and Mr. Peekie Boo

Here are some cute photos of Anna and Alexander last week.

I like Anna's little piggy tails and have made this hairdo for her quite a bit lately. I don't think Mikel's as big a fan of piggy tails (and bows), but she likes them, I think they're cute, and another mom from her school thinks they're adorable, so he's overruled on this one! Anyway, it's not like she wears them everyday.

And this photo shows Alexander playing Peek-A-Boo with me one morning when his sister was at school. He's so cute the way he says it: not Peek-A-Boo but instead Peekie-Boo. Lately, he's also been playing "Where's Alex?" He asks that question with great inquisitiveness (is that a word?) whenever he takes on or off his shirt or otherwise decides to hide his face.

Christmas In October

Here are photos from last Saturday! (I told you I was slacking off.) Employees and their families from various companies throughout the city volunteered to put up Christmas lights and other holiday decorations at a local park. As you can see, it was near enough like holiday weather. The children who were getting over colds, and I didn't want to take any chances in the nippy, drizzly weather. Mikel and other managers at the paper served lunch.

Dog Show Visuals

Shreve (left) and friends.


The three Keeshond show dogs stack up against each other.


Who's who? Shreve is on the leash held my Mikel in the blue jeans.


Alexander and Anna.


Mikel, children, Shreve.

Dog Show, Football Saturday

I've really fallen behind in my postings! I've amassed quite a few photos in the past week or so and will try to get caught up before they get too old. My "free time" to post, read, clean house, exercise, etc. is either during the children's nap time or after they've been put to bed at night. For a while I was staying up much too late myself in order get some of these things done and have recently been making a more concerted effort to get in bed at a decent hour. This means something is put off and it seems blogging has been it. Unlike the laundry, which I can let go for a day or two, the top priority is cleaning the kitchen. It has to be clean each morning when I enter or else I don't feel a sense of getting the day off to a good, fresh start. At the moment I am up late but posting in bed on the laptop. Since it's not a work night for Mikel, I can get away with this!

We pretty much spent the entire day today (Saturday) at a dog show here in Rapid City. We even took Shreve, though I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to since he wasn't a show dog. But no one blinked an eye, mainly because the doors weren't being minded but also because he's a purebred and so stunning that he fit right in. Heck, if we hadn't had him neutered (you can't compete if you don't have all the goods) and if he was better groomed I think he would have easily won the Keeshond division. True, there were only three others competing. But he definitely would have kicked some furry butts out there. To the man on the street I'm sure he looks just about perfect, but to the critical eyes of those in the show dog world, Shreve's ratty looking behind and the too long fur around his paws are quick giveaways that he's a poser. Shreve behaved and looked presentable enough. I got in the back of the SUV and combed him out and clipped on him the entire trip over to the show. With his coat, it's never enough, though. A couple of spectators who assumed he was a show dog asked us about him. That was nice. Before the castration a couple years ago, we'd glossed over the whole show dog topic, but it would have been largely up to me and I just didn't have it in me. The people we met today were very nice, but we have taken Shreve to other shows where I felt competitors were looking down on us. I think it's very cliquish.

Overall, I think the Keeshonden turnout was not that great today because the breed is not common and also I'm sure this was considered a small show. We did meet a Minnesota couple with two Kees who happen to know our breeder in Michigan. The competitive dog world seems to be a small one. The children really enjoyed seeing the big variety of dogs, but I think we enjoyed it more. Anyway, I'll post photos and maybe even a video from the dog show tomorrow (Sunday).

A first today. Two firsts, actually. Alexander not only had a pee pee for the first time in a public toilet today, but it was the first time he's used the bathroom on a big toilet period. At home he's been using only his little training toilet. He's doing so well with the potty training, telling me when he has to go, though I know he's also going in his diapers. At some point I'll get brave and attempt underwear. I think I kept Anna in the diaper-like Pull-Ups for much too long.

When we came home the children played for a couple hours, got a bath, ate dinner and went down a little earlier than usual for the night since they hadn't napped. Mikel and I then enjoyed our college football Saturday night of pizza and flipping the channels between the Michigan and LSU games. We were both winners tonight. Yea! Whew, but yea!

Daddy's Big Day

Yesterday was Mikel's birthday. In the morning, I led the children to Mikel's bedside, where we sang him the Happy Birthday song. Mikel later told me it was very heartwarming to hear the children sing to him like that. Later that morning, Anna and Alexander helped me frost the cake, then we had a little celebration when Mikel came home for lunch. Later, we hired a babysitter so Mikel and I could have a little date night with dinner and a movie. Among Mikel's gifts was a double frame of special artwork the children colored just for their father.

The children were such good helpers with the cake, especially Anna. She really likes to help me out in the kitchen, so I'm going to foster that enthusiasm because it makes for good learning experiences. Alexander helped with the cake decorating for a short bit but, after sampling the chocolate frosting a few times, declared, "I don like choklate," then ditched Anna and me to go play with trucks. Except for the M&Ms he now covets during potty training, he really doesn't eat much chocolate. I've noticed he has turned his nose up at several chocolate-flavored things, including Oreos (thankfully, since they're very messy) and Teddy Grahams.

When I picked up Anna from school today, Anna's teacher reported that she'd had a very good day and felt badly that she may have gotten me worried on Thursday. Of course, we celebrated Anna's good behavior and she clearly enjoyed receiving praise. I've decided to try out a reward chart. I'll make some sort of calendar-type chart and give her a star or smiley face for each day she has no time-outs. If she can go a whole week, I told her we'd get her a Cinderella night-light for her room. She seems to be very excited about this, so I think it might be a good reminder for her to consider her actions. Already once today she's said "Cinderella night-light?" when she'd gotten a little rowdy and thought she was about to get a time-out. Maybe it's like buying her good behavior instead of really instilling it. I don't know, but if it works and actually causes her to think for a moment before acting out and gives her something to strive for, then I don't have a problem with it. Of course, I can't buy her something every week so we'll have to come up with some other kind of reward system for good behavior. Maybe more responsibilities or privileges?

Doing Their Jobs: Playing

Here are a couple photos of the children playing independently.

On a more serious note, it's been a rough couple days for Anna. She had an awful afternoon with me on Wednesday. Disobedience on every level. Maybe defiance is a more appropriate description. My various discipline approaches didn't seem to have much on an impact. Hoped for a better day on Thursday. But when I picked her up from school the teacher informed me she'd had a tough morning. She bit another child and pinched a second child around her eyelid. She was denied recess privileges. They'd had a firedrill, and the biting incident occured outside, so teacher didn't see if Anna was provoked in some way. Still, no excuses. Between the firedrill and the children's normal schedule being disrupted and Anna starting to come down with a cough, I don't know if these things negatively affected her behavior. Perhaps to some extent, but it's more than that. Teacher said she has been testing her. Example: When Anna gets up from their morning circle time (three times yesterday -- once to legitimately go potty and two other times to turn on the sink water or flush the toilet for no reason.), the teacher will ask her to sit back down and Anna might look at her, smile and take one step closer or away and pretend like she may or may not sit. (She has done this with me and, on occasion, with Mikel.) Needless to say, she had another awful afternoon with me on Thursday. She's having a much better day so far today, but that's all relative.

I did some quick research on reactive attachment disorder, which is common enough among adopted children, and again reviewed symptoms for fetal alcohol effect, and I still feel pretty good that she doesn't have these. I'm hoping it's just a 3-year-old phase. Or that she was getting sick or simply having a bad day. I'm fishing for excuses for my child's bad behavior, aren't I? She's barely 3, after all, which the teacher acknowledged and said makes a big difference in behavior. I'm trying to up my own awareness of different strategies. I've heard a lot about the Love and Logic approach and will seriously consider this and anything else that might work. I told the teacher that withholding her book at nap time or bed time seems to be effective, so at school the withholding of things she really likes might help. Anna really likes recess time and I asked if this punishment worked. But it was such an odd day at school with lots of visitors and people sitting beside Anna while other children played that she said it was hard to tell. Over two days, Anna has had to have three meals by herself in her room. But I can't tell if that bothered her or not. Any suggestions? Seriously. I was in tears.

In some positive news from the teacher, the school tested children, and Anna is apparently a good amount ahead of her peers. The teacher said she was impressed with Anna's scores on their own, without considering that Anna is such a young 3 year old and that she hasn't been in this country for even a year. I didn't dwell on this part of the conversation too much because we do have parent-teacher conferences scheduled in two weeks. But they're only 15 minutes! Sorry school, but I used to interview people for a living, so I'm sure we'll be going over our allotted time. Either that or we'll have to schedule another one.

Mobile Making

Here are Anna and Alexander during our little outdoor venture to collect autumn leaves for the craft project that didn't pan out.

Lisa asked how I made the Halloween mobile. Here's a rundown: I sketched the cutout designs freehand as I looked at pictures on the Internet and in a magazine. It was easy. I'm no artist, so if I can do it, you can too! I just did one sketch of each design on thicker paper, then used that as a guide for cutting on the thinner colored construction paper.

As for the base/frame from which to hang the designs: I picked up two longish sticks from our yard, crossed them and wound yarn tightly around the intersection until it was stable.

As for hanging from the ceiling: I used yarn from both the middle section and each of the four stick ends for stability and tied them all up together at the top, though now I realize I probably could have skipped those from the middle. Then I simply cut a hole in each design, fed yarn through and hung from various points on the sticks.

Pretty easy and fun (for me, anyway!). I think it's so festive with children in the house that I'll probably keep the frame and make different cutout designs for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays.

Snack Time For Whom

Quyen asked for this little video of Shreve chasing Anna around the table in quest of her snack. It's funny but definitely not a good representation of the children's language skills!

Gettin' Crafty

Attempting glue sticks

Proud pumpkin

Just Not That Into It

Early on during craft time, when there remained hope

Finished Halloween mobile


Last Friday I got all Martha Stewarty and let (did myself) the children create a Halloween mobile to decorate our kitchen and set the tone for the upcoming holiday.

First I sketched and cut out pumpkins, bats, ghosts, Candy Corn and a graveyard headstone. Then I let the children color my creations. It was at this stage of the process when I lost my enthusiasm. Anna did great with the coloring, but Alexander just wasn't that into it. He barely gave a few chicken-scratch strokes with the old Crayola.

I should back up a hair and say that I was REALLY ambitious in presenting the children with two craft projects in the same sitting. The day before we'd collected colorful autumn leaves to paste onto orange and brown colored construction paper. We tried this part of the project first during our sit-down. I gave each child a glue stick, piece of colorful paper and the mound of foliage. Again, Anna did OK with this in the beginning but soon began coloring through the sticky glue. Alexander just wasn't ready for such a craft accessory. I think if we were gluing paper onto paper, then it wouldn't have been as frustrating. It was difficult to get the leaves to stick, and the children weren't too interesting in the tedious process. I finally gave up this part of the afternoon project and moved on to coloring Halloween cutouts.

The whole craft time ended abruptly when I caught Anna swabbing the inside of her cheek with the glue stick. (Could she have been inspired by me letting her apply, just minutes earlier, watermelon-flavored lip balm? Still, that was to the outer lips, not inside the mouth.) And she had been so good throughout so much of our little project.

Needless to say, I put the mobile together with sticks and yarn, then hung it, myself. Though their participation was minimal, the children love it. Everytime they enter the kitchen they say "Wow" and look up in wonder.

Our Adoption Story In Video

Somehow we condensed 22 months of our adoption journey into a short video. (Forewarning: It's actually not that short! Be prepared to set aside about 18 minutes of your time.) Hopefully, we've figured out this whole posting-of-the-video thing. Most of our family members have already seen this video, as we debuted it at our family reunion down south this summer. If it is, indeed, working, then we'll diversify our blog site with video (albeit much shorter) clips on occasion.

Video test

Hanging Out

Here are some photos I snapped yesterday with the children while outdoors to enjoy our afternoon snack. As you may have noticed in many photos, it's not easy getting Alexander to smile for a photo. (He's a total sweetie pie, though, who can now sing the ABC song all the way up to the letter "s" without a flaw!) As always, Anna is ready to smile for the camera.