Next time, we're checking the kids in as baggage

Ohmigod. Remind that if the kids ever want to go back to Russia, they can go on their own.

RUSLAN NEVER SLEPT, AND INSTEAD FUSSED THE WHOLE TIME. 9 1/2 HOURS.

YANA BARELY SLEPT, ONLY WHEN HER SHIFT OF SCREAMING AND WHINING WAS OVER AND RUSLAN HAD CLOCKED BACK IN.

I will never think those things I think about sitting next to kids on an airplane ever again. Our kids were hated by ever passenger on the Aeroflot flight, who may have mixed emotions about Americans adopting their children, but were probably willing to make an exception for our two screamers.

So mom and dad didn't sleep at all. It's now 1 a.m. our time, we're in the JFK airport awaiting our flight to Denver, and have decided to resort to cruel tactics. Since the Benadryl had no effect on either child -- must be something in the Russian genes -- we're pulling out Plan B: the oversized jackets. Every time the kids wore their oversized winter coats, they were as peaceful as angels in all of our rides in Russia, primarily because they couldn't move.

Yes, that's right. At least Ruslan will be wearing his winter jacket aboard this next flight, regardless of the temps on the plane. He needs to be immobolized, because there's no guarantee that these kids ... who now have been up for 17 hours without a nap, will make time for one on this next flight.

They need car seats on planes.