Lessons 1-2 won't get you very far

We have never been to a country in which we felt so isolated as here. Being one of the millions of self-absorbed English-speaking Americans, I presumed that I wouldn't need to learn much Russian, because EVERYONE IN THE WORLD knows how to speak some English, because English is the official sponsor of life, and is as prevalent as Guinness and McDonalds.

That is why I only bothered to get through Lessons 1-2 of the 12-lesson Russian language CD's which Fran bought to help us learn Russian. I essentially learned one phrase well, and that was "I don't understand Russian" which I figured absolved me of any further conversations with strangers. I could have not even learned that much and just shook my head when they began to speak to me, but I felt it was my duty as a traveler in their country to learn that one phrase so that I could appear ignorant, but not rude.

Fran, being the good wife, went through all 12 lessons, and flaunted her knowledge of Russian to me over the phone for weeks leading up to this trip, speaking in tongues which I didn't understand but made her seem rather impressive.

But since we have been here, she has been afraid to use some of her phrases, for fear that she will not say it quite right and somehow offend an entire people.

So the LeForts are in country with one person who can speak a little Russian but is afraid of appearing stupid, and the other who can speak no Russian but has no such fears of stupidity.